Champions League Observations, Part I: We’ve Got Questions That Need Answers


Champions League Observations, Part I: We’ve Got Questions That Need Answers

England national team jeans stained cutie Fat Frank

Three unexpected bottoms were planted on the Chelsea bench for last night’s game vs. Napoli. We smell conspiracy, although it very well could’ve been cake fumes. Images: SkySports.com.

It’s a little early in the Champions League knockout stages to start changing up our posting tactics, but then it’s a little early for all the EPL clubs to be knocked out, and that seems to be on the cards after last night’s games.

La Liga team in Champions League knockout1. Who gives better man hugs: CSKA Moscow or Real Madrid?
Obviously, Real Madrid (left) had this in the bag. Then we saw this video of a renegade mascot hugging the life out of Ezequiel Lavezzi (a mini-case study in what cheesy tattoos do to a hot body?) and Walter Gargano and we were swayed enough to call it a tie.

We’ve got our eye on that kid. We may send him stripes.

2. Is it wrong for us to be watching a game and doing jumpy claps every time there’s an injury to a Chelsea player because Eva C gets a run out?
Actually, you know what? Since Eva Carneiro has already been (humorously) linked to Chelsea’s poor form this season, we reckon she needs all the props she can get.

Drogba hairnet Hugo Campagnaro collision head injury bandage pointed toe feminine soccer kick3. Is conduct like this ever appropriate on a football pitch?
The traditional bandage, though horrifying, can be tolerated. This hairnet with built-in chinstrap? Not so much. If this is what FIFA consider acceptable for keeping someone’s brain in their skull after a head injury, then we’ll be convinced they’re actively trying to drive our demographic from the game. Yes, we take this stuff very personally.

Image: Paolo Bruno/Getty Images.

4. Gary Neville’s punditry skillz…..? Discuss.
Many of you non-UK Kickettes will not have had the pleasure of seeing Red Nev’s heavily made-up phizog spread across their Sky footie coverage. Our UK correspondent has confirmed from the depths of her nacho stained sofa that, on occasion, the ex-Manchester United defender is a pretty good pundit, using his experience to bring a different perspective to proceedings. She’s unreliable at best though.

Have you seen Gary in action? What do you think?

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We pose all these questions in the spirit of competitiveness and good sportsmanship. Please don’t spoil a decent game by throwing pizza at each other in the tunnel.

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