EURO 2012: An Accommodations Overview, Greece NT

27 January 2012 By ossi 0 In Chat

Shiny bar, shiny seats, shiny floor and shiny barman standing by to fulfill our every sordid whim. This is looking promising so far, Kickettes! Image: JANEK SKARZYNSKI/AFP/Getty Images.

They might not be the national team whose pants drawer you’re most interested in familiarising yourself with, but the ‘fun factor’ of the Greek NT’s accommodation arrangements far outweighs any disappointment at the lack of potential fantasy material.

We promise you.

The ‘Folk Restaurant’

Image: JANEK SKARZYNSKI/AFP/Getty Images.

Oh. Less shine, more wood seems to be the order of the day in the ‘folk restaurant’. But let’s try and stay optimistic, shall we? No, we have no clue what those wagon things with the inefficient wooden wheels are for, either. We just hope its not to collect the bodies of those who have just eaten breakfast.

We’re just funning.

We’re sure the food is lovely and not remotely poisonous.

The Folk Restaurant: Pt.2

Image: JANEK SKARZYNSKI/AFP/Getty Images.

It’s the dead animals nailed to the ceiling that offend us. Like we’d really tuck into dinner with a dead wolf suspended over our heads?!

The Pool

Image: JANEK SKARZYNSKI/AFP/Getty Images.

More evidence (if it were needed) that inappropriate wood is a feature at The Warszawianka hotel in Jachranka (near Warsaw).

For those of you who flunked Dendrology 101 (look the hell at us and our big words on a Friday), palm trees are not native to Poland yet are part of this pool’s ambiance anyway.

Go figure.

The Living Room

Image: JANEK SKARZYNSKI/AFP/Getty Images.

Now this is more like it. Lovely widescreen TV to watch the games on, plenty of cupboard space and best of all, special sliding door thingy to lock out irritating team-mates. They’ve even supplied a little table and (naughty) chair so the offender can contemplate the nature and severity of their crimes.

So, from what we can gather, during the tourney we need to be looking out for Greece NT players sporting splinters, unusual eating habits and homesickness.

They’ll almost certainly pick that up from the palm trees.

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